June 25th, 2012: Gained 3 lbs. I’m really not altogether surprised. However, I did slam 2 grueling cardio sessions (one in the a.m, one in the p.m.), so, while not surprised, I still have that small grain of disappointment when I gain. This little frustration thing may last forever I guess.
I feel like I still don’t have any sort of muscle definition, although I never had much even in my best days. I reassure myself about this by saying that there are a lot of high-level athletes out there who don’t have much muscle definition either. When I used to look in the Sandpiper’s mirror after 15 beers I’d think I was right up there with Ronnie Coleman – especially if I’d done my bench presses that day.
All this is ok. I just really don’t want to stand out in a crowd. I don’t want people to be looking at me because I’m thin or I’m fat or anything – I just want to fit in. I guess at 189 I should fit in.
June 25th, 2020: I gained three-pounds between yesterday morning and this morning too, so you see, the basic nature of all this doesn’t seem to change. This set-point weight that I discussed yesterday, hmmm, maybe the 180’s are just where I seem to function the best. By best, I mean strength-to-weight ratio, and energy levels, combined with acceptable levels of daily hunger.
And the muscle definition thing I wrote about in 2012? I guess you could say I’m pretty defined right now. I’m at 12% body-fat, so this is pretty lean for me, and the fat must cover up the muscles I suppose. I still don’t have a whole lot of abs going on, though I work on them constantly. I didn’t see any definition until I got below 200 lbs., if I remember correctly, but it seemed to happen overnight when I hit about 195 lbs.
Skinny-fat is all part of the process, and maybe so are flaps of loose skin, depending on how far you’ve come, or where you’re headed with your weight loss. Get over it. This part of the process is still part of the process – I’m not saying don’t get surgery to get rid of the flaps someday if they drive you nuts, just be patient with this, too. In my humble opinion, any quick elective surgery you do prior to getting your mind right is putting the cart so far in front of the horse that, well, fuck I don’t know how to finish that, but I know you’re picking up what I’m laying down here. If you must, do like I did and look at the many pro-athletes who didn’t get invited to do the body issue of ESPN magazine. You are learning so much about being patient right now, don’t go blowing those lessons. Buy something more fun and less bloody with your money.
