March 19th, 2012: This week is my best week yet on the program. A 3 pound bender, and I’m in the 280’s. 287 lbs. to be exact. I can vaguely make out the halfway mark of the Mississippi 17 lbs. in the distance. Alas, it’s still faint, and I can’t start thinking I can hurry. Nevertheless, I’ve lost 7 lbs. in 3 days, and the only thing different I’ve done is ramp up my exercise way out of my comfort zone; so it’s got to be that. I realize it can’t go on like that forever, but it has definitely provided the shock I needed.
Can you be a corporation? I mean, can you treat your body like some sort of manufacturing plant where you turn the raw material of food into muscle and rid yourself of excess scrap as needed? Well, what’s one of the first things a corporation needs? A goal (ask Eliyahu Goldratt). And along with that is the oft practiced Theory of Constraints (a chain is no stronger than its weakest link). In the world of business, it’s some sort of manufacturing bottleneck that slows the whole process down, or otherwise adversely affects the outcome.
Do we have to put to practice a Theory of Constraints? Sure we do, we all have that one thing that can screw up our health plans – injuries, time of day when cravings are the worst, certain events that make us want to eat everything, and the ever present fatigue factor.
What else does a corporation need? Investors? Hell yes! We have lots of people invested in us. Some of us have even gone public with our stock – letting others in on our plans. There are people who have a vested interest in seeing us lose weight and get healthier.
Do we open for business at a certain time of day? Well, yes, we wake up. And we have a close of business at night when we lie down to sleep. In between those times we do, in fact, engage in the business of being healthy and safe and sustainable. If we don’t, we’ll eventually go out of business – that is, we’ll lurch along, be the butt of everyone’s jokes, or the bane of the person’s existence who has to nurse our invalid ass, and then simply die.
Do we have times of good returns and some days of poor returns, and some days of purely flat sales? Yep. Do we have an accounting department? Well, probably not a department, but like any successful business we keep track of our accounts payable and accounts receivable.
Do we need to relax and have office parties sometimes, and reward accomplishments? I think so. In fact, for us, morale is huge. Will we someday get there and have only to mind the shop and maintain? Yes we will, but we’ll always have the opportunity to improve, and do that triathlon, or half-marathon, or maybe even full-marathon. Some of us may even compete in a master’s division boxing tournament or climb Idaho’s highest peak. Some of us will empty the bucket before we kick it, and then we can sell the company to the highest bidder, and hopefully that’s God.
Right now, I sure hope I can continue to mostly be “all business”. I know I’m human though, very human, and I’m pretty well aware of some of my current limitations. But this was my pep talk to myself today to keep me in business at least one more day. One day at a time.
March 19th, 2020: If there was ever a time or a great excuse to quit the program, it’d be now. Following the program in the time of the Corona may be a little bit like Love in the Time of Cholera. Don’t stress it if you don’t follow the simile there, it was just one of those books I had to read years ago for one class or another. Anyway…
These days and times for me are another one of those “No Matter What” times. I have said, and I stand by it: if I want this program to ever work for me, then I will follow and believe no matter what – even if the rocks melt and the sea burns.
There are some buses I can drive, there are others where I’m just a passenger. I can drive what happens inside of my skin, inside of my clothes, inside of my home, and inside of my truck. There are a lot of other more powerful and more experienced bus drivers on this ride of life, though, and sometimes I have to just get on and ride. However, I don’t have to fall for the tricks of all the demons also on the bus with me. Everything out there in that crazy world plays its games, I play mine. The food I normally like to eat may not be readily available, places I go to keep sane and strong may temporarily close, things I like to do may be temporarily put on hold. But I can always keep below 2000 calories for my diet and find a way to burn 500 off with exercise. I can smile and be nice and try to be helpful. I can dream. Nobody or nothing can take away my dreams. And when it all blows over I’ll find myself still in stride toward those dreams.
These are hard times if I want them to be, but I prefer to think of them as educational. I could get caught up in it and scared, but I can’t see the point of that. I have done that before. I have gone all-in with panic and stress and then found myself in a self-built prison. I decided somewhere around 2012, however, that I can’t use fear as anything other than motivation to fight like a motherfucker. And fight I will.
